When we are unhappy, we are often in denial about it. Because we should be happy with the life we’re living right now. We have people who love us, a place to lay our head at night and maybe even some money to invest in things we love. Or at least in a few cocktails every now and then.

We believe that we don’t have the right to be unhappy. And so, we pretend not to be. We try to trick others into thinking we’re okay with our lives so that we ourselves can believe that everything is fine.

We deny ourselves the experience of being unhappy because we think actually feeling it will overwhelm us.

Saying that we’re unhappy feels whiney and maybe even scary.

We try to improve parts of our lives, but no matter what we do, it never seems to make a difference. We set goals, fail, achieve and repeat.

But sometimes, on the rare occasions that we do allow our feelings to peek through, we still feel that same feeling of emptiness. And then we go straight into our favorite numb-out strategy, alcohol, shopping, cookies, porn, books, whatever it is for us.

Here’s the thing: We feel negative emotions for a reason and therefore, numbing them just prolongs our misery. If you’ve been feeling off for a while, your soul is probably trying to tell you something important. Maybe it’s that your job is not fulfilling. Maybe it’s the relationship that you’re in or the fact that you’re working too many hours.

Whatever it is, it’s important.

We need to feel the unhappiness so we’re ready to listen and find out what’s not working. Unhappiness that is felt spurs change.

Own your unhappiness. It’s trying to teach you a lesson on happiness.

It’s tough to pull your dark side out of the closet and shine a light on them. Being unhappy is something that most of us banish as a state that is not desired which is why we resist it and don’t want to acknowledge its existence.