How to make a decision without asking everybody & their mother for their opinion

Written by Iris Barzen

|

|

Table Of Contents

Add a header to begin generating the table of contents

You’ve been sailing along smoothly for a while. You didn’t have it all figured out, but your baby steps were taking you somewhere, you could just feel it in your bones.

And then without warning, anxiety pops on over and pulls up a chair.

You wake up one morning feeling a little confused. There’s this heavy cloud over your head. Your mind is racing, and all you wanna do is escape that feeling of being lost and worried.Your little heart starts to panic.

So you hop on facebook to ask your gals what they think you should do, just to stop yourself midway thinking “Wait, didn’t I say I wanted to trust my own judgment from now on?” Oups. Almost fell into that old trap of seeking validation.

When you’re not sure where to go next, when you’re anxiously yearning for someone to tell you what to do, try this:

Just ask yourself what’s next.

No asking anybody else, no shooting frantic emails at your besties, or stalking your new blogger crush (you know, the one with that beautiful biz that’s paying for her organic cucumbers). None of that.

Just ask yourself: What’s next?

Listen in. It’s your intuition speaking.

It might say anything from” take the day off and visit your boyfriend” to “go empty your inbox, it’s been weighing you down for days”.

And now here’s the secret little trick: Actually do the thing she tells you to do. This is what they call trusting your intuition, you know. It’s the tricky bit, but the also the whole point.

If your intuition speaks up and you’re quick to ignore it, guess what, she’ll think twice before she answers your next question.

Not getting any answers? Is your intuition playing hide and seek with you? 

Well, your intuition might be so used to being neglected that she won’t speak up this time around. But don’t you worry. Your intention to tune inward won’t go unnoticed.

It takes a little while for your intuition to trust you, too. But the more you ask for opinion, the more she’ll know you’re serious about this, which will give her a better feeling when she finally lets you in again.

It takes some time.

But don’t take that as an excuse to never get started.

When you’re confused and don’t know the next step, just ask yourself:

What’s next?

You might just get your answer.

And how do you know it’s the right answer? Usually it’s the one that feels good, of course.

Soulful Sessions Highlighter

I never thought I was a perfectionist

I recently read a fascinating book called “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy”, written by a cognitive behavioral psychotherapist. One thing he said really resonated with me: “If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.” What he means is that you will never be able to live up to…

Read More

How to stop procrastinating and make work feel less scary

I’m in the more stressful phase of writing my BA thesis. So procrastination and I are in an intimate relationship right now. The hardest thing to do when you’re procrastinating is sitting down and getting started. And we have valid reasons for delaying work: Did you know that when you think about the thing you’re…

Read More

“I love my child, but I don’t like being a mom.”

Three of my clients are mothers. They don’t want to only be moms, they still want their sense of identity. They want to have a career and their own life. And who can blame them? Can you imagine asking a man to give up his entire career to stay home, keep the house clean and…

Read More