I never thought I was a perfectionist

Written by Iris Barzen

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I recently read a fascinating book called “Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy”, written by a cognitive behavioral psychotherapist. One thing he said really resonated with me:

“If you are a perfectionist, you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.”

What he means is that you will never be able to live up to your standards. Because in reality, Perfectionism’s biggest ally is procrastination.

The author Mr. Burns has a really neat way of describing perfectionism:

“Think of it this way – there are two doors to enlightenment. One is marked “Perfectionism”, and the other is marked “Average”. The “Perfection” door is ornate, fancy and seductive. It temps you. […] The “Average” door seems drab and plain. Ugh! Who wants it?

So you try to go through the “Perfection” door and always discover a brick wall on the other side. As you insist on trying to break through, you only end up with a sore nose and a headache. On the other side of the “Average” door, in contrast, there’s a magic garden. But it may never have occurred to you to open this door to take a look!”

Mr. Burns (I couldn’t resist) suggests that we give perfectionism a break and try to be average for a day. I know! That sounds kind of… wrong, right? I can’t just do an average job at work, or… can I?

Well, Mr. Burns predicts that our day will be much more enjoyable and that, by the way, we’ll fail horribly at being average most of the time.

I have tried writing average blog posts and it was way more fun! It seems to take off the pressure and lets me focus on putting words on the page without the background noise of self-doubt.

Focusing on average allows me to produce more work – and that makes me happier than fretting over one project forever to get it just right.

When Setting Goals Stresses You Out

Goals usually fizzle out. By the end of the year, we don’t even remember them. What were your goals for 2017? I’ve never really had set goals and when I did, I didn’t know what to do with them once they were written down. The problem with goals is not just that we don’t achieve…

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Tiny Mission: Leave things a little better than you found them

It sounds like such a platitude: “Leave things a little better than you found them”. The idea is to make sure that whether you’re at work or talking to a friend: You do something small to leave the situation a little better than it was when you got there. I do this when I remember. It always…

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Following your dreams is not all airy-fairy

[line] This post was written straight from the heart after an incredible Soulful Session with Rebbecca, one of my lovely readers. I’m gifting Soulful Sessions at the moment, so if you want to get on the phone with me and get yourself a good dose of inspiration, clarity & encouragement, now is the time. Set…

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